The Journey to you

Most people when they think about their life journey had a inkling of what they wanted to do from a very young age, but often life overtakes - the compulsory bits - such as education where some of our instincts are muted as we learn in an expected, conforming and organised way to fit in with the society we are born into. This is not wrong - it works. It means that the majority of people have every opportunity to live the best life possible, which is something we naturally all want. We strive to have all the expected things - a loving partner, children, house, holidays etc etc. But do we remember those first sparks of thought that occasionally fleeted through our kiddie grey cells? Some do, and some get forgotten because we are so busy and wrapped up in the demands of life; circumstances change, people come and go and there's always those times when the rug is totally pulled from under our feet and leaves us hugely devastated and thrown off course.

It's those little nagging bits at the back of your mind - the whispers you can hear if you listen - the need to be fulfilled both spiritually and emotionally but you can't put your finger on it. Often the clues are the thoughts of maybe doing something else - making a big change to your lifestyle - knowing that you might want to retrain in something entirely different but have never done anything about it - even if the opportunity has presented itself! These are choices we make in our lives. Occasionally the change or the time to listen is forced on you like a bolt from the blue and then you know what you're supposed to do. These are hints you are on your journey, the one the stars have etched in the universe just for you.

As a child I was always fascinated by fairies, witches, wizards and anything magical, and I had this knowing acceptance that there was another place or dimension that was connected to our world but separated at the same time. However, on my first night that I was given my own bedroom, I was visited by a strange white figure with no features, which stood right beside me and I screamed the place down! I was so scared that I never slept in there again. That experience shut me down and whilst I totally believed in spirits, I wasn't going to allow them to creep up on me in the night! Even so, I knew when there was a presence around me, but I had lost the sight. Even today, I might see a shadow or a shape out of the corner of my eye but my connection is through communication, images and senses. I guess they had their reasons for doing that to me! The magical fascination continued and I would spend hours watching the trees and listening to their sounds. I had loads of questions for my mum and dad about 'odd' things, and dying and rebirth and all sorts of weird stuff, and they always told me what they thought and smiled when I asked. I knew my grandmother was psychic and I later learnt that at least two of my uncles were as well as some of my cousins. My mum was crazily superstitious and had an amazing draw for animals. She even had a toad which would come in the back door looking for her and then jump on her lap and rest a bit!

It wasn't until I was about 18-19 years old that I met someone who I can only describe as a very young 'Medusa' character from Disney's 'The Rescuers'. We got on famously and I knew she was one part weird and two totally barmy! She most certainly wasn't everyone's cup of tea; her make up was so thick you could chip it off, and she was totally awkward but had a heart of gold and I liked her. One day, she appeared in front of me absolutely beside herself with excitement that she had bought herself a pack of Aleister Crowley's Tarot Cards, and wanted me to go round to her flat for supper so that she could try them out. It sounded like fun - so I did.

When I got there, she'd already got dinner on the table and everywhere was candlelit. She virtually threw the dishes in the sink and ordered me to sit on the cushion by the coffee table. I had already heard of Aleister Crowley, but I don't know from where, and I knew he wasn't the nicest of characters, hence I wasn't overly interested in his meanings. I don't remember what she told me because I was more focused on the ornaments which were moving on the shelf behind her. I calmly told her and she just shrugged her shoulders and said. 'Aw, they do that all the time! I think there's a ghost living here too!' I laughed, feeling more amused than concerned. We talked about the different ways of telling people's 'fortunes' and she said that it was possible to do this through a possession, so I thought I'd have a go. I took her door-key and all of a sudden I could see images, which I told her about. She was stunned and became very teary as I described the place she was brought up and bits and pieces about her past. 'You need to do this!' she said, 'you were so accurate'.

The next day, I went to what I called 'the magic hippy shop', near to where I lived and bought their last packet of Tarot cards, and that was the start of my journey.

Blessings to all!

Sandra